Look, we know when it comes to the NFL, most of you do not want to think this could be a possibility. But let’s look at the reality of the situation: the Chiefs are back-to-back Super Bowl champions. They’ve won three of the last five. We can officially call this a dynasty. And they could win their third in a row which would put them at, or near, the top of every list of NFL dynasties of all-time.
You might not want to think about it. But there really hasn’t been a ton of NFL offseason drama. There was a decent amount at the draft especially with the Falcons’ somewhat wild pick of Michael Penix Jr. so early on. Then there’s the idiocy surrounding where Brandon Aiyuk will play this season. Really, though, it’s been a relatively quiet offseason. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s good that there aren’t all sorts of tragedies or terrible things that have happened. That’s a good thing. We need more of that.
So I will go through this post and try and guess the answer to the question in the title. Let’s start with the predicted standings:
OK let me explain myself…
- Is there true parity in the NFL? Not really but I do have a bunch of teams in the seven-to-ten win range which makes all those teams relatively close to average. How many are outside this range in my predictions? Eight above and seven below. Less than half the league.
- The NFC East and NFC Central look to be THE division races of the NFC (if not the league). Dallas and Philly are so close at the top, it’s going to come down to whether Dak fucks up in the final game of the season or Dak does something great in the last game of the season. So it’s up to Dak. As for the Central, yes, the Packers are going to be better and will challenge the Lions at the top. It wouldn’t surprise me if either team gets the Wild Card home game.
- The Wild Card races are usually where all the fun is for fans. Hell, they’ve adjusted how the final week of the regular season is broadcast mostly based on this race in both conferences. I love it. Both conferences are going to have tight races. In the NFC, I do buy into the Caleb Williams/Rome Odunze hype and I think the Bears give their fans some hope by sneaking into the playoffs just ahead of the Rams, Saints, Bucs and Seahawks. The owners will look at those packed crowds at Soldier Field and push harder and quicker to get that new stadium in Chicago because more money, right?
- The AFC…well, the divisional races might not be as tight. Yes, I have the Jets (ugh) winning the AFC East because I think A-A-Ron Rodgers can stay healthy all season. Houston and Kansas City might end up running away with their divisions. Only one left is the Central and I might be going out on a limb having both Ohio teams making the playoffs and pushing the Ravens.
- And the Wild Card race in the AFC? Well I mentioned the Bengals and Browns. Also there should be the Bills who, along with the Browns will juuuuuuuuuuuuust outlast the Dolphins, Jags, Titans, Chargers and even potentially the Russell Wilson/Justin Fields Steelers. Somehow I am worried I will be wrong here and Mike Tomlin will drag a not-so-good Pittsburgh team into the playoffs because, well, Mike Tomlin.
- The race to the bottom feels like a four-team race. I give the Pats the, um, “edge” here because their offensive line is so bad that Drake Maye might make long-time NFL fans forget the David Carr Expansion Experience back in 2002 where it felt like he was sacked on every drive. The Broncos, Panthers and Giants will also be bad but will be a tiny bit better than the Patriots. But if one of these teams could fuck with an 0-17 mark, it would probably honestly be the New York Football Giants and their $160 million mistake, Daniel Jones.
- My pick for the MVP. Pretty much as good as when I do my prediction for the Heisman. So a bunch of crappy picks and I don’t know if I have ever got it right. So let’s try it again! I think this year you will see C.J. Stroud win it but I am going to hedge my bet (a bit) and say it will be one of the closest votes ever as he will barely beat out both Patrick Mahomes and Jordan Love.
- Honestly, I do a bit better with my Rookie of the Year predictions although that’s not saying much. I think it will be another close one but Caleb Williams, for leading the Bears to the playoffs, will eke out the Offensive ROY, while the Defensive ROY will go to a bit of a surprise in Jared Verse, who gets the honour of replacing Aaron Donald in Los Angeles.
- Finally, my coach of the year pick seems like a bit of an obvious choice as I have Matt Eberflus winning the award although don’t count out Captain Khaki himself, Jim Harbaugh as I see the Chargers being in contention for the playoffs all season.
And now, let’s see how the ol’ Bossman thinks the NFL playoffs will go and I apologize in advance for who I pick to win (although I had the game correct last year, the result I did not):
Wild Card Round
Baltimore (2) def. Cleveland (7)
Buffalo (6) def. NY Jets (3)
Houston (4) def. Cincinnati (5)
Detroit (2) def. Chicago (7)
Dallas (3) def. Philadelphia (6)
Green Bay (5) def. Atlanta (4)
Divisional Playoffs
Kansas City (1) def. Buffalo (6)
Houston (4) def. Baltimore (2)
Green Bay (5) def. San Francisco (1)
Detroit (2) def. Dallas (3)
Conference Championships
Houston (4) def. Kansas City (1)
Detroit (2) def. Green Bay (5)
Super Bowl LVIX
Houston (4) def. Detroit (2)
A Texans-Lions Super Bowl would be beyond ridiculous. Two fan bases who have had it seriously bad for a long time (one much longer than the other but still) looking for their team’s first Super Bowl win. I just see C.J. Stroud having such a breakout season that he leads a very good Houston team to it’s first title, breaking the hearts of Lions fans. As for the rest of the playoffs, let’s look at what I have concocted here:
- I have the Browns and Bears sneaking into the playoffs but I think both will get decimated in the Wild Card round.
- The Bills to take revenge on the Jets having the fucking audacity to be the first team in a long time not in New England or Buffalo to win the AFC East.
- Atlanta showing why the NFC South division is the absolute dirt worst by being ousted in the first round.
- The Packers upsetting the Niners in San Francisco (and it will probably be in one of the most painful ways I’m sure).
- Then the Lions making sure the Packers don’t get to the Super Bowl in a game where 100% of the non-Packer fans are all cheering for the Lions.
- Patrick Mahomes not getting the chance to defend his title in the big game.
That’ll all happen, right?
OK we are done with my NFL preview. Now I want to apprise my readers of something I am thinking about. I am going to be doing the NFL schedules this season. But it might be my last. With the advent of TSN+ to go along with Red Zone and Sunday Ticket, the idea of doing the schedules week-over-week feels less important than it ever has. I will monitor everything as the year goes on and I won’t make my decision until some time after the Super Bowl is over but I don’t want to drop this slight bombshell on you all in the offseason if that ends up being the case.
Next up….oh yeah, Week 1 of the college football season. I can feel my hands aching in anticipation…of all the typing I will have to do. Totally worth it, though. Have a good week everyone!